i
At this very moment, I am craving. I am overwhelmed and
afloat. I resurface to find myself in the depths again. There is no sense of
closure, but rather I feel streams gushing all around me. I am compelled to
share this water yet I drink none of it. I am deeply thirsty and I do not
anticipate my thirst to be quenched…not without avoiding the consequences, the
ramifications to follow. I fear the rhetoric of those I consider imbeciles.
Should I find myself presenting myself as an empty cup, they will do nothing
but fill me up with that which evaporates before it trickles down my throat. I
am at ransom. I am a beggar of time and those who incarcerate me see themselves
as liberators. I look for joy. I look for food. I look for sanitation. I look
for clarity. I look for structure. They ask of me that which I search for. I have
found a form of refuge in my search; it seems my chains are my greatest weapon.
I am hungry and so I hunt. I am thirsty and so I dig. They want answers. I have
learnt to “only speak to improve upon silence”. I stand at the mercy of
history. I will be vindicated. I will love uncontrollably. I have no certainty
but the image which is within me. I will give into my future. I will cause others
to thirst too. I believe that is the cycle of which I am supposed to accept. Where
will purpose be if everyone is fulfilled? Thirst frustrates, exacerbates and
eliminates. At this very moment I choose to remain hostile to myself. I am my
own company. There are no answers…the enigma is the conclusion. The conclusion
remains the mystery. I will remain thirsty for that which aims to keep me
thirsty. I blame nobody.
I crave…this is my way of life.
